FRs 75-80 Vicious Lost chapters Part 3!!!
Things have been very weird. They went from really well to super shitty, to some progress, to even shittier. At this time I'm really questioning my self. Its just a painful process. And I've plauteaud for months now. The only good new is that I'm doing more iso, and setting up dates is becoming more natural.
FR 75- Self Validation- Theres 2 women who are turning out to be great connectors so I'm developing quite a cool social circle. and have just started to become good friends with Iceman. Iceman tells me of a meet up in Georgetown. I head that way to find out its Color's big meet up. I'm warmely welcomed by everyone. Color gives some theory pointers and later asks me to give my input. My style is very different so I can't say I advocate his, on the other hand, my game has been terrible so I don't feel like I have anything to teach. I uncomfortably tell the guys my point of view and proceed to dissappear and do my own thing, how ever I notice that 1 of the new guys whos name is DC Romance I believe is particularly nervous and doesn't seem to trust himself very much. At this stage of my life I don't trust my self to teach others but somehow I always end up finding a way to teach them something. Even when I know nothing about game. I can either leave him to drown by him self and dissappear, or I can try to help him without knowing if I can. I choose to stay. I forget what I said to him but I mentally trained him and later I spot a very smoking hot 3set. 2 chicks with hats who look like Ariany Celeste! Its time to go in even while I'm hating my game. I tell DC romance, "Open those 2 with no lines or excuses."
He hesitates and just cannot get himself to do it
Vicious- Fine. I'll open the friend, and you'll open her. I'll open 1st
DC Romance- Ok
I go in and somehow hook them, but to my surprise, they're a little drunk. DC Romance hooked the other chick suddenly he was on fire. flirting with all kinds of women.. 1 of the hot chicks starts hitting on me, and grinding on me. Touching me all over. I then proceed to hit on the hottest 1. Shes into me. Suddenly the 1 that was hitting on me starts hating on me and tries to cockblock me. I still manage to steal a kiss and her number before the cockblock finally takes her away. I then spot this other hot 2set of europeans. I hook my target and also manage to steal a kiss and her number, as well as a seeded date. Color Winged me for the rest of the night. We open a mixed 3set but I wasn't digging them, and neither was Color. My style of game is very in your face, but I'm not good at just holding a normal conversation. We ejected. This FR had MANY Interesting sets and experiences. It would be super long if I mentioned them all so I won't. 20 minutes in the night and I had gotten about 2 or 3 kisses, and 3 seeded dates, As well as the chance to change yet another persons view of life and game. but for some reason I was still not happy, nor was I feeling acomplished. I useless. I would watch color hook sets although they seemed to go nowhere. Eventually he hooked this decent looking woman, and they clicked. They talked for hours and he kissed her. This made his night and made him feel like the man! While I saw him cheering, I couldn't understand why even though I had managed to do so much did I still feel so empty inside. I look back at when I just started. I'm Clearly MUCH better and I'm still progressing, why do I still feel empty inside. Suddenly as this is going in my mind Color spots 3 au pairs. 1 of them is pretty attractive. The other 2 are a little bit chubby. Him and I are attracted by the same 1. while we're still deciding whos goings, I go in, and hook her. Color comes in and does a great job at distracting the chubs. I hook this girl for a very long time, and we connect so well. I notice how this 1 interaction suddenly changes my spirits. I also notice how Hooking sets to Color, is like getting numbers, and makeouts to me, its not impressive nor is it an acomplishment. and thats when it hit me that its not about the actions or results, but rather your inner acomplishments. I had hooked a set Very well and this made my night while Color had hooked countless. Color had gotten and kiss and a seeded date, and this made his night while had gotten many more kisses, and countless dates set up. I silently celebrated, and proceed to the inside. Color then gave me some advice which I didn't agree with but I still respected the fact that he was trying to give me advice. By the end of the night I'm tired and still fighting inner battles, But I also realize that the most powerful form of validation, is self and thats the 1 rule I live by.
Today's topic- Self Validation... I noticed that the guys who are good at anything in life all have the ability to be self validated, which is why they never quit when the people surrounding them are against them. I was feeling shitty yet my abaility to be self validated allowed me to keep trying just as hard as the 1st day I joined
FR 76 The mentor- My emotional circutry is very weird but I'm a bit calmer then I have been for the past month or so. Once again I don't call anyone and decide to solo it. Once in the public bar patio I chode crystalize again. Ugh this is gay. Where's the old Vicious firepower that could push past this. I was towards the end of the bar only to find magellan. It seems his wing flaked on him and is by him self. I can't push past this pussyness. It looks like we both need a friend. We talk and get to know each other. Within the first 5 minutes, this guy's calibration and field experience are noticeable. He gives me some solid advice about calibration, and tells me about screening. I begin to open and watch how well he hooks sets and wins over entire groups. With his guidance I start noticing little hints from people. He teaches me how to screen for smiles, bodylanguage, situations where there could possibly be interrupts. This precisely what I've been missing all this time. I quickly take note of this and ever since today I've been screening for signs. As to the actual sets, nothing special happened. It was pretty dead but the leasson was invaluable. Magellan is humble knowlegable and helpful. I then hustle him to teach me follow up since It's my current stickingpoint.
Today's topic- The little details... Checking for little details such as timing, situations, surrounding etc, usually means the difference between an FR, and an LR.
FR 77 Killing the boy- Its been too long and no matter what amount of analysis, sarging, practices, I attempt. I Seem to be stuck in an endless plateau. but for some reason the strenght in the relationships That have been created out of this, and the experiences have been slowly but surely killing the boy inside of me, and now I feel more like a man. I head out for some daygame with Jdubbs, and Superman. As its been lately we're all pussying out. We walk into a women's store and without even trying Jdubbs hooks the hired gun. Jdubbs is probably the most impressive person I've seen as far as wit and set hooking. He just has no competition. He stays there for a while. Superman and I come out and we spot a SMOKING HOT 2set. I tell Superman to come wing me cuz deep down I'm shitting my pants. he's frozen. I walk behind them and follow them for a while but I can't get my self to open. They walk into a store and I also walk in. They see me but I say nothing. They walk out shortly after that. I walk out and go the opposite way feeling defeated. But I NEVER let a set go once I put my mind to it, so I can't let this 1 go. I turn around and do an oldschool Suicide chase and tell them whats on my mind. They hook unbelievably well. We chat I make them laugh, etc. I puss out and don't go for them number since they do also mention they're leaving town in 2 days. For the rest of the day I'm Getting IOIs left and right, and hooking every set, but I just do NOT number close under any circumstance. We leave after a while of sarging. I'm becoming more proficient but that disgusting fear is always a struggle.
FR 78 The last sip in the bitter cup- I head out with Jdubbs to Public bar. This plateau is tough, I just have to endure. I walk into lucky bar, We begin opening. I'm getting blowouts and shutdowns everywhere. I'm just frustrated, Its been too long and nothings changed. things are getting worse and worse. and I'm Leaving DC soon. I refuse to give up. Jdubbs is pushing me and supporting me. We bounce to lucky bar. The blowouts are getting worse and worse, I'm tired runing on almost NO sleep, and the frustration and deception are killing me. The night only gets worse, to the point where I'm creeping girls out with my very presence. Their reactions appear to be very similar to those of the women back in my period of loneliness and Isolation. This sucks. 2 unstoppable forces. the pain and depression(I'm not completely healed from the scars in my past), and my drive to succeed.
Jdubbs- Dude, keep pushing
Vicious(frustrated, and empty)- yea. Yea
I keep opening and women are literally walking away from me as soon as they see I'm about to approach. I oppenned more sets than I care to count. On our way back to the metro, I'm not saying much but Jdubbs can see the Pain and frustration
Jdubbs- Dude you tried. There's alot to be said for trying even where there was no hope
Jdubbs- Dude the stuff you do is very admirable
My mind is kinda gone and I feel a couple tears come out of my eyes. I'm eshausted physically mentally and spiritually, but deep down I know that its darkest just before dawn. I know I'm closer to success than my feelings tell me.
Today's topic- Mastermind group... This is probably the single most important thing anyone can do when trying to reach success. There's no way I would still be as motivated to succeed if it wasn't for all my great wings consistently pushing me.
FR 79 The Harvest!- I take time off and make an inventory of my self. Superman and I came up with a concept for building up social circles out of nothing. We have picked our core circle. Iceman, Jdubbs, and yayah to name a few. this concept turns out to be a GREAT idea. Even better than I expected. Suddenly I'm meeting more women with much less effort, and learning close hand from my wing's strenghts. I'm also developing a true friendship that goes beyond wingmanship with everyone in the circle. We're all meeting more women than we were without even cold approaching. I also developed a sharp sixth sense that allows me to read women through their expressions, bodylanguage, etc. The Suicide missions along with all the other struggle developed me from being a boy to becoming a man. my bluntness and ability to pull the trigger in tough moments is becoming extremely useful. I still can't seem to converse too well but I'm able to connect to women in a deeper level than ever before. Superman, Iceman and I head to the Sakura matsuri event where we are to meet 2 of Supermans women. Iceman is great at making game easy and conversing. He Opens a very cute hired gun. I occuppy the less attractive coworker. We complement each other well. He gets his target to invest by writting his name in Kanji. I get my target to invest as well by teaching me Japanese. I leech off his conversation since he's so good at it, but I notice he has a hard time pulling the trigger. I number close my chick and we bounce shortly after that. Iceman teaches me content, and I teach him bluntness, while Superman teaches up Bouncing. We make a Great team. We go through all kinds of crazy adventures and game while we're at it.
Today's topic- Social Circle... Its extremely hard to learn content through straight up cold approach until you can consistently hook, or get consistent dates and even then. How ofter can you stay in set for 2 hours or more. Going to social events where you're forced to interact for Hours with the same people who happen to be strangers is absolutely crucial to learning content, which is why the Social ciircle concept is so powerful.
FR 80 Freedom- Our social circle game is improving its been a long time and, I've been so bussy runing social circle game that I have done no Cold approach. Superman, Jdubbs, and I head to Georgetown to cold approach for the 1st time in a while. We're surrounded by hot women but we can't approach. We chat and chode around. Finally after a while we walk into a bookstore I spot a pretty hot older woman around her 30s and Jdubbs Later spot a very attractive asian woman sitting with this other girl. She seems to be just my type. I have paralyzing fear. Jdubbs distracts the older woman so Superman and I open the 2set with the hot asian. We freeze up. No fucking way. Vicious is gone and has been replaced by a pussy. although my life is much more fullfilling now. After a while of standing there creepy like, Everyone is looking at us and things get awkward, Which further enhances the AA. Jdubbs comes back
Jdubbs- Um I opened that chick so you guys would stop being pussies
Vicious- Sorry man. I'm a pussy today
Superman- Yea I can't open that
Jdubbs- Lets go.
I feel guilty. As we head to the downstairs, something takes over and forces me to walk towards my target against my will. It littterally feels llike someone is grabbing me by force and pushing me in that direction. I go In and tell her exactly whats on my head. I'm stuttering for the 1st time in a while. Whe starts laughing nervously. I make small talk, She can't stop laughing out of nervousness.
Vicious- He Heey. You'rree ve very attractive. I have to um um get to know you. Blah, blah. I'm Vicious
HBasian- Oh um haha, um I'm Mija Nice to meet you
Vicious- What do you do
To make a long story short, I made small talk and Ejected shortly by saying "Nice to meet you" I walk away and kick my self for being a big pussy. Midway thorugh the stairs I run back and come back. They laugh
Vicious- Hey I'm back
Mija- LOL hey
Vicious- We need to exchange numbers(While handing her my phone)
I proceeded to Seeding a date. That was litterally the only approach I made that day. How every. the fact that I had more tan 4 potential dates lined up and have made some amazing connections were such a drug that I could say I am High on life I'm finally free from my nightmares for now.