Saturday, November 14, 2009

FR 21,22,23 Vicious returns! A new chapter in the book.

This is gonna be a compressed report of my latest adventures. My internet has been down so its been hard for me to post.

So as you all know, I was working very hard on defeating my fear, and was achieving some good results. everything was going well, but suddenly I hit a plateau, and couldn't seem to get past it. at that very same time, everything in my life started going absolutely horrible. Suddenly everyone everywhere I was going, was giving me shit and absolutely humiliating me. people at work started hating on me, I got sick, and just everything sucked. I decided to take a little break, and unclutter my mind. I kept going out but with less intensity, and the thing got so bad, I actually started breaking down, and completely choding out.

Suicide crews healing power- Prior to the comunity, I haven't really had many good friends, and I'm not used to people wanting me to succeed. My entire crew was there through it all. they stuck it out, motivated me, protected me, and completely put their hands in the fire for me. In addition to that, awesome guys, like Wolf howls, Dave, and Caveman Spent their time on me, instructed me, and lead me. Although I was still getting horrid results, and I was feeling empty and unnatractive, all these guys showed absolute faith in me. Surely enough little by little, I regained my stability, and things started getting better.

Breakthrough- After freezing up again, and hardly being able to approach, I started approaching, again. Peoples reactions started getting slightly better because I started believing I my self a little more. When I hit the clubs with the crew, they kept getting better and better results while mine seemed to be avearge. Thats when it hit me like a ton of bricks that I just had to amp up the energy and believe in my material more. I also finally was able to unmask another enemy that had controlled my whole life. It's called sexual fear. I was able to overcome social fear to great success but not sexual fear. My inability to kino, or even talk about sexual themes has been responsable 100% for the results I've been getting. Unmasking this was both very scary and very relieving, because now I can fight back, now that I know what I'm fighting against

Kino mastery/ great friendships- My sexual fear controlled me so much that it bled into my opening and I started getting some serious AA again. But due to the Suicide crew, I held in there, and Live forever turned out to be quite the Kino master. Don't believe me? read his recent FRs, hes been getting makeouts like crazy. Having him on my side started really paying off. Still all these days, I still couldn't get my self to kino. But just having such a solid guy in the crew gave me hope and relief.

The calm after the storm- After all these hellish days, I was able to extract some very valuable knowledge, and I was also able to gain a firm foundation and stability. It also gave me clarity of mind and made the proccess much simpler, as well as revealing most of my real sticking points. Now I have peace of mind, and focus. With such a great team on my side, you guys can soon expect some serious progress in my following FRs.

FRs- Since the info is not fresh in my head cuz its been a while, I'll give you a very basic roughdraft of each of the 3 FRs

FR 21 Beggining of the storm- In the previous report, I got slapped, and more and more of my all ready gamed targets continued to show up. Me worried about completely burning my rep in DC along with other issues, I get really sick and my mood is gloomy. I got out with superman and fidemus to foggy bottom. Frozen up by AA I do very little approaches, and get shut down horribly.

FR 22 The storm- I'm starting to recover from the flu. I catch up with the crew. to my amazement, They're all improving incredibly, while I seem to have regressed. We hit mcfaddens. I'm in my head and acting completely emo and chode. Suddenly this retard pushes me and I get pissed off. Call him out on it. He threatens me, I stand my ground, and he pushes my neck. I get infuriated, and Live forever absolutely pissed off, he stands up to him and all his other lying little bitch friends. Southern style holds me back and bouches for me. and Live forever. The bouncers show up and the chodes bitch friends start lying to get him to stay in the club. Live forever does not rest until theres justince, and hes willing to gladly get kicked out for me if he has to. after a long debate, they kick out the chode, but the manager talks shit to Live forever so we all decide to fucking leave and we bounce. By this time We're all out of state thanks to me. They're both amazing friends to me, we go to suckier venues, and Live forever bounces. Amping up social preassure- We go to lucky bar and all those venues. I'm completely negative and choding. I hate my self right now. Suddenly we find a bunch of comunity members. among them, Dave, Wolf howls, and caveman to name a few. Dave makes me completely fuck up sets on purpose so I could get over my social preassure. This day was very educational but very painful.

FR 23 New chapter in the Suicide crew book- all this time of absence in my part, Live forever has held the crew together and lead them amazingly. while Southen style has kept it fresh and continues to improve it by bringing new awesome guys to the Suicide crew. Amazed by what I see and with my new breakthroughs I come back.

Tougher challenges- My 1st venue is the pentagon city mall. and We agree that the Suicide crew needs to reach a new level. We find the first very tough challenge. A seated 2 set with what appears to be a mom and a daughter having lunch. Of course if I'm gonna preach something I better wailk the talk. I start shaking but I go for it. I pull the chair and sit next to the old lady and tell her I think her daughter is very beautiful. I chat them up and then the old lady cockblocks me. I can feel my confidence and drive coming back to me. Following after that, each member in the original crew steps up to complete challenges they've never been able to do. Live forever does a similar set to mine but with 4 hot women. it goes kinda well. Southern style approaches the hottest girl in the venue, and Superman gets assigned the narcist challenge(couldn't stay long enough to see if he completed it)

My 1st fight against my newfound enemy- we hit the night clubs, I begin approaching. this time their reactions are alittle better. Live forever is killing it. suddenly while walking I look next to me and Live forever is making out with this HB. He shortly makes out with another girl after that. Impressive. He shows me how he does it, and I just can't seem to pull it off. Thats when it was clearer than water to me. I had to believe in my material. clearly that was the biggest difference between him and me shortly after with his aid and instructions I was able to do my 1st real kino attempt to good success. I won't do highlights and will do a very brief list of overall leassons. My mind is not fresh and this is all ready a super long FR.

Overall leassons learned-
To get good, you must 1st destroy your current self and start out fresh by doing absolutely every chode thing you can do.
You have to trust your material no matter what
to spike up a conversation, teasing and smiling is absolutely crucialIts always better to overdo something than underdoing it.

New focus- Teasing/attracting, Kino, makeout

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