CH 3-The fall of Vicious!/My Journey
More than a Pickup forum, this is a withness and a record of my life's Journey from the time I made some Covenants with my self. I keep a diary of my life in my blog however, at the request of Crazy Mike, I decided to post my progress while in D.C. In the Previous thread, and my last Days in DC in this thread. Warning its very long. I wouldn't suggest reading unless you
1- are an old friend that wants to catch up with my current life,
2- have followed my Journey and wish to step in someone else's life for insight Purposes
and or 3- Are bored and want to read a short true Soap opera!
Flashback- My time in this forum has been short but I've gone through so much that it seems like its been years. I've been recently made a Field leader. I can do some stuff I definetly couldn't do before. I have my peer's admiration and respect. I have lead as many as have requested it but this Void I feel does not go away. Nothing makes me happy.
Jan/Feb 2010 Killing off Vicious- At this Point The name Vicious is worth more than the Person using it. I can feel like my time in DC is soon coming to an end. The winter has made it Very hard to game and I've hit plateaus that I simply can't overcome. I have worked my self to exhaustion! and Still can't get past that point. My peers are looking to me for help. At this point I can't even help my self. Let alone helping anyone else. I didn't come to this for tittles or fame. Its time I dissappear. I disconnect my self from the world and I'm dead broke, and getting sick.
March 2010 The disgusting truth about Vicious!- The commotion about Vicious has died down and I feel a relief. The disgusting truth about Fight club is that its real! Long Before I got into this I started using the name Vicious(Taken from the Cowboy Bebop series) and made it this powerful creature that would save me from life's challenges (I had the lowest self esteem) and it did take up life within me. Suddenly when I had a fear, I would call Vicious. I even gave it a different voice. and Sure enough. I became incredibly courageous and strong. Once I used it in the comunity. It took a whole new level. I became so dependant on this thing that it forced me to work harder and harder each time and pushed me past the point of exhaustion, only to steal my achievements leaving me an empty shell. Granted I have become a little crazy due to severe trauma from my past, but sane enought to fight for my dreams. At this point I have only revealed this to Superman Knowing full well he won't Judge me. He is determined to get me to Kill off Vicious
April 2010 The Fall of Vicious- I Have been proclaimed The Rising Phoenix and it turns out my days in DC are counted. my recent discoveries are impressive. I have developed such a strong personality that even without game still, I can achieve things that were unthinkable to me when I first Joined. I have managed to get a Lay from my Biggest oneitis while in my time here, and have pulled a girl to the bathroom, and have gotten countless makeouts. I have done some of the most awkward and boldest moves, and have made them work. I have made golden friendships. I don't want to destroy Vicious I finally do, and the credit for these achievements finally goes to me. (Yes LF when you made that Joke about Imaginary friends because I said I was bidding farewell to an old friend. Ironically your Joke was true. I was saying bye to Vicious!) My life here has been incredible. and my emotions have been burning since day 1.
The Fruits of Hard work!- To follow up on my Future before I writte my latest adventures. I did end up going out with this girl, and she has been AMAZING with me. She treats me like a king. Its long distance but we've been seeing each other on a consisten basis(2 days a week, or sometimes 3 days every 2 weeks) She's met my friends from NJ and we have gone fishing, clubbing, to the beach, hotels, expensive restaurants, etc. On a side note, one of my dreams was to pick up an Asian woman(My GF is Japanese)
My Life Lessons of my time in DC
- Life is Beautiful in its own way
- Faith is the Greattest form of Power in the planet. It has the power to bend life to our will.
- Core Values Defeat skills. ALWAYS
- A true leader is the greattest Servant of all.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's official. I'm The Rising Phoenix!
Suicide crew- Social Liberation.
Follow my Amazing Journey http://herosjurney.blogspot.com/
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09-16-2010, 03:49 AM Post: #2
superman
DC Official Member
Posts: 618
Joined: May 2009
Reputation: 31
RE: CH 3-The fall of Vicious!/My Journey
That fuckin' Vicious was one wild motherfucker, it's a good thing we killed him right before you left haha.
Good to see you're still learning and improving yourself homie!
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Showing posts with label Inner transformation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Inner transformation. Show all posts
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Sunday, January 31, 2010
New chapter to my book of life/ My Journey!
I'm going to be making a progressive time line of my life so I as well as anyone following me can see for them selves my transformation as its happening. Its going to be tittled My Journey, and the 1st chapter is the thread called "there's hope for all/My journey" this is the sequel.
Flashback- After all that has happened I have aquired a rock solid foundation composed of a very strong belief system, as well as steel determination. I have made abit of a name for my self in Jersey but my game is still very weak.
1 year ago- I choose a date of departure and embark on my Journey to DC. Although I have a very strong foundation, I'm very ignorant of the world around me. I bring my room mate from Jersey. We're all we have. He is great at finding resources, and I'm a good leader. I have a very positive outlook on life but still have yet to live it.
Feb 2009- We're struggling to since our new setting is totally unknown. I celebrate my 1st birthday away from family. Room mate and I have a very different mindset and start fighting Its a shitty birthday. As time passes it gets harder and harder to make ends meet. the only social interactions I have are with coworkers. they're the only social circle I have. They're all very attracted to me but unfortunately thats as far as I can get. I notice that chicks around me such as my neighbors, co workers etc. are constantly hitting on me but I lost touch with the game I thought I had. I lost faith in all the gurus, and all these methods out there. My number 1 priority coming here was to learn game and fix my social life, but its easy to fall in the daily routine and pushing my self gets harder and harder. Specially since I have to push both my self and my room mate.
July 2009/Self discovery- Thanks to my Room mate I get to meet some very powerful people, and because of our struggles and conflict. I'm finding out things about me that I had no clue even existed. I'm working as a promoter. I'm really getting exposed to many people but my social skillset is still very horrible. I try to get the only person I can truly trust here, my room mate to go out, and do drills with me. I know this is the perfect spot to learn game. He refuses. We continue fighting and it gets worse and worse.
September 2009/Self mastery- My room mate and I have fought so much we don't even talk anymore. Finally all the unsettled scores from our past come to life. It turns out hes always admired me but on the same token hated me due to envy. He's been disloyal and has done everything in his power to slow me down and stop me. I explode, he admits to everything and asks me for forgiveness. I have done nothing but help this guy even though hes been so ungreatful so forgiving him is kinda hard but I still do. We try to forget all that has happened but there's irreparable damage. I'm pretty much alone and so is he. Really finding out my weaknesses and strengths and learning how to use my revealed abilities to my advantage.
October 2009/Vicious unleashed- My room mate is too weak to handle living on his own so he moves back to his moms house. Its been almost 9 months and although I've learned alot I still haven't even started the missions I set out to achieve. I try to gather will power but its very very hard without someone around. Its time I start. I open my old files about game etc, and remember the forums. I go on looking for wings. Some dude posts about a lair website in DC. This could be the 1st time all the resources have aligned them selves, the environment, the people, and the system. I join the Lair and quickly become involved. So far I have ok fundamentals, balls, and certain talents I've discovered on this journey but 0 game. I'm as big a chode as they come. I decide to toss all out the window and work on each aspect of my game.
November 2009/Suicide crew campaigne- I meet up with Superman my very 1st wing ever. My social innexperience quickly shows, and its clear I have WAYs to go, but on the sane token, all that power thats gone unrecognized, unused, and unappreciated by the low value people I've been mingling in Jersey is really starting to pay off. 1st by the Promoter team I joined where i quickly became the operations manager, as the right hand man of the leader, barking orders to the promoter team. And now by the comunity of PUAs. I'm used to fighting very hard for stuff and I quickly start getting attention from the Forum members. I meet a bunch of very determined ballsy guys, and form whats known as the Suicide crew. This crew turns out to be exceptionally gifted and our progress begins to sky rocket. I'm still struggling moneywise but I'm really starting to work on social interactions.
To this date- The Sucide crew is quickly rising to the top, and I've been made Field leader. My inner self is consistently making it self known to me in different ways. I plan to rise to the top and this is the perfect time to do it.
Progression ladder
October 2009- I have a very hard time opening directly and when I do I get blown out.
November 2009- Through Suicide missions I've overcomed this step but getting girls to be receptive is almost impossible to me, and when they are I'm terrified of touching them
December 2009- I finally learned how to get girls to be receptive but the interactions die very quickly. I can't hook for shit, my kino is much better, I can sometimes get makeouts
To this date- I'm just starting to be able to consistently hook sets but I still chode a bit, and Need to work on more technical stuff.
Flashback- After all that has happened I have aquired a rock solid foundation composed of a very strong belief system, as well as steel determination. I have made abit of a name for my self in Jersey but my game is still very weak.
1 year ago- I choose a date of departure and embark on my Journey to DC. Although I have a very strong foundation, I'm very ignorant of the world around me. I bring my room mate from Jersey. We're all we have. He is great at finding resources, and I'm a good leader. I have a very positive outlook on life but still have yet to live it.
Feb 2009- We're struggling to since our new setting is totally unknown. I celebrate my 1st birthday away from family. Room mate and I have a very different mindset and start fighting Its a shitty birthday. As time passes it gets harder and harder to make ends meet. the only social interactions I have are with coworkers. they're the only social circle I have. They're all very attracted to me but unfortunately thats as far as I can get. I notice that chicks around me such as my neighbors, co workers etc. are constantly hitting on me but I lost touch with the game I thought I had. I lost faith in all the gurus, and all these methods out there. My number 1 priority coming here was to learn game and fix my social life, but its easy to fall in the daily routine and pushing my self gets harder and harder. Specially since I have to push both my self and my room mate.
July 2009/Self discovery- Thanks to my Room mate I get to meet some very powerful people, and because of our struggles and conflict. I'm finding out things about me that I had no clue even existed. I'm working as a promoter. I'm really getting exposed to many people but my social skillset is still very horrible. I try to get the only person I can truly trust here, my room mate to go out, and do drills with me. I know this is the perfect spot to learn game. He refuses. We continue fighting and it gets worse and worse.
September 2009/Self mastery- My room mate and I have fought so much we don't even talk anymore. Finally all the unsettled scores from our past come to life. It turns out hes always admired me but on the same token hated me due to envy. He's been disloyal and has done everything in his power to slow me down and stop me. I explode, he admits to everything and asks me for forgiveness. I have done nothing but help this guy even though hes been so ungreatful so forgiving him is kinda hard but I still do. We try to forget all that has happened but there's irreparable damage. I'm pretty much alone and so is he. Really finding out my weaknesses and strengths and learning how to use my revealed abilities to my advantage.
October 2009/Vicious unleashed- My room mate is too weak to handle living on his own so he moves back to his moms house. Its been almost 9 months and although I've learned alot I still haven't even started the missions I set out to achieve. I try to gather will power but its very very hard without someone around. Its time I start. I open my old files about game etc, and remember the forums. I go on looking for wings. Some dude posts about a lair website in DC. This could be the 1st time all the resources have aligned them selves, the environment, the people, and the system. I join the Lair and quickly become involved. So far I have ok fundamentals, balls, and certain talents I've discovered on this journey but 0 game. I'm as big a chode as they come. I decide to toss all out the window and work on each aspect of my game.
November 2009/Suicide crew campaigne- I meet up with Superman my very 1st wing ever. My social innexperience quickly shows, and its clear I have WAYs to go, but on the sane token, all that power thats gone unrecognized, unused, and unappreciated by the low value people I've been mingling in Jersey is really starting to pay off. 1st by the Promoter team I joined where i quickly became the operations manager, as the right hand man of the leader, barking orders to the promoter team. And now by the comunity of PUAs. I'm used to fighting very hard for stuff and I quickly start getting attention from the Forum members. I meet a bunch of very determined ballsy guys, and form whats known as the Suicide crew. This crew turns out to be exceptionally gifted and our progress begins to sky rocket. I'm still struggling moneywise but I'm really starting to work on social interactions.
To this date- The Sucide crew is quickly rising to the top, and I've been made Field leader. My inner self is consistently making it self known to me in different ways. I plan to rise to the top and this is the perfect time to do it.
Progression ladder
October 2009- I have a very hard time opening directly and when I do I get blown out.
November 2009- Through Suicide missions I've overcomed this step but getting girls to be receptive is almost impossible to me, and when they are I'm terrified of touching them
December 2009- I finally learned how to get girls to be receptive but the interactions die very quickly. I can't hook for shit, my kino is much better, I can sometimes get makeouts
To this date- I'm just starting to be able to consistently hook sets but I still chode a bit, and Need to work on more technical stuff.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
There's hope for all/ My journey!
I write this post for a certain group of people. Let me start by saying I'm far from reaching my destination, and I consider my self a newbie. Every so often I hear people say, we'll I'm not good looking, or I have a disadvantege because of.... this post is to you guys.
transformation process
My childhood- due to negative teachings, and little to no direct family in my childhood(most of them left), combined with low social value due extreme financial difficulties(to the point where I live in a tent, and hunger strikes everyday), in a country where social differences are enough for people to verbally, physically, and morally abuse you with no fault of your own. kids can't control logistics.
Highschool- Used to resolving issues through violence and hate, just arrived to this country, social rules are unknown due to the differences in countries, combined with a childhood of complete isolation, and an endless list of hardcore limiting beliefs, and bad habbits. needless to say, I went through highschool at the bottom of the social foodchain(virgin) only 1 girlfriend(dissabled unattractive girl) at almost the end of my highschool life. very few friends
5 years ago- complete outcast, socially awkward, people hate me, my future looks none existant, suicidal thoughts, complete lack of knowledge of any subject regarding this country. If you guys have seen pink floyds movie, brick in the wall, thats kinda how my life was(but without the fame)
4 years ago- I meet a guy whose as close to a rockstart as anything I've seen, throws concerts, gets laid, etc. we become best friends, he begins to help me. for the 1st time in my life I start seeing girls even acknowlege me(even though they do it for him) a small ray of hope.
3 years ago- Because of the limiting belief build up combined with an entire life of isolation, I stupidly believe that nothing can change or be learned, people are simply born lucky or destined to rott in hell.
After a very very humiliating defeat and treason by my best friend(not the rockstar guy, but my highschool best friend)(due to a girl. one of the very 1st few girls to ever show interest in me), my frustration, rage, and and pride, finally serve a good purpose.
her last words to me- You're a loser.
Exhausted of hearing this fucking word(I still hate it) I decide to prove to my self I'm not a loser.
Still 3 years ago(How I built my persistance)- after seeing my rockstar friend's lifestyle, and going through that last humiliation, I start searching desperately for answers to my questions. with alot of willpower, I cut all connections to nevative people(my rockstar friend goes away at this time too. I'm pretty much alone again) I start my 1st cologne bussiness, I do good, and put up my 1st store. The flood takes it away. I meet the very 1st woman I wouldn't mind sharing the rest of my life with. due to lack of game, and her family taking her away from me, I lose her. I cry and become depressive again. I go in a destructive pattern, and start getting wasted everyday, and destroying public property. but after losing her, my anger, and frustration become such, that they become a fuel strong enough to completely dominate my life to this day
2.5 years ago(I discover the comunity!!!!)
after searching and reading self help books, I find yahoo answers, and start asking people why women don't like me, and why was I born this way. braddock finds his way to my question, and sends me a reply, with a double your dating link, and some brief advice. I become obsesed with it. and then I find out about mystery and the game etc. I have no friends and live in a small town. but my hunger for liberation, and increasing determination completely take over my mind and body.
Rock solid surge of power- I devote my 110% to my transformation project, begin to study all kinds of materials, practice all kinds of excercises, work on tons of issues I have to improve on. After becoming a keyboard jockey, I decide to go away and work on my fundamentals
To this date- Having that stain in my past and the overwhelming fear that I won't make it in life, leads me to having an obsession to achieve not only standard results, but an extremely successful lifestyle. Because of all this lifetime of failure, My determination becomes solid as steel, and my faith indistructible. I set up another store, and it becomes somewhat successful. becoming addicted to my struggle, I decide that I have it too easy in jersey and decide to come to DC and make a fresh start.
thats a pretty undetailed version of my story, If I wrotte in details, I could writte entire books.
overall lessons/beliefs
Determination completely wipes out all logistics and unfavorable circumstances
excuses are for the weak.
anything is learnable, no matter what it is. anything can be overcomed(cept for death)
there are no shortcuts, or free passes for anything lasting and worthwhile.
You really can't fool anyone but your self, Integrity is lifes most respected virtue
life is like a huge store, you can have absolutely anything as long as you're willing to pay the price. I can go on forever. but This thread as all ready super long. This is 1 of the very 1st times I actually speak about this. reason is, this has been hunting me my whole life, and now iis my time for complete transparency and freedom. fuck judgements. I don't care anymore.
transformation process
My childhood- due to negative teachings, and little to no direct family in my childhood(most of them left), combined with low social value due extreme financial difficulties(to the point where I live in a tent, and hunger strikes everyday), in a country where social differences are enough for people to verbally, physically, and morally abuse you with no fault of your own. kids can't control logistics.
Highschool- Used to resolving issues through violence and hate, just arrived to this country, social rules are unknown due to the differences in countries, combined with a childhood of complete isolation, and an endless list of hardcore limiting beliefs, and bad habbits. needless to say, I went through highschool at the bottom of the social foodchain(virgin) only 1 girlfriend(dissabled unattractive girl) at almost the end of my highschool life. very few friends
5 years ago- complete outcast, socially awkward, people hate me, my future looks none existant, suicidal thoughts, complete lack of knowledge of any subject regarding this country. If you guys have seen pink floyds movie, brick in the wall, thats kinda how my life was(but without the fame)
4 years ago- I meet a guy whose as close to a rockstart as anything I've seen, throws concerts, gets laid, etc. we become best friends, he begins to help me. for the 1st time in my life I start seeing girls even acknowlege me(even though they do it for him) a small ray of hope.
3 years ago- Because of the limiting belief build up combined with an entire life of isolation, I stupidly believe that nothing can change or be learned, people are simply born lucky or destined to rott in hell.
After a very very humiliating defeat and treason by my best friend(not the rockstar guy, but my highschool best friend)(due to a girl. one of the very 1st few girls to ever show interest in me), my frustration, rage, and and pride, finally serve a good purpose.
her last words to me- You're a loser.
Exhausted of hearing this fucking word(I still hate it) I decide to prove to my self I'm not a loser.
Still 3 years ago(How I built my persistance)- after seeing my rockstar friend's lifestyle, and going through that last humiliation, I start searching desperately for answers to my questions. with alot of willpower, I cut all connections to nevative people(my rockstar friend goes away at this time too. I'm pretty much alone again) I start my 1st cologne bussiness, I do good, and put up my 1st store. The flood takes it away. I meet the very 1st woman I wouldn't mind sharing the rest of my life with. due to lack of game, and her family taking her away from me, I lose her. I cry and become depressive again. I go in a destructive pattern, and start getting wasted everyday, and destroying public property. but after losing her, my anger, and frustration become such, that they become a fuel strong enough to completely dominate my life to this day
2.5 years ago(I discover the comunity!!!!)
after searching and reading self help books, I find yahoo answers, and start asking people why women don't like me, and why was I born this way. braddock finds his way to my question, and sends me a reply, with a double your dating link, and some brief advice. I become obsesed with it. and then I find out about mystery and the game etc. I have no friends and live in a small town. but my hunger for liberation, and increasing determination completely take over my mind and body.
Rock solid surge of power- I devote my 110% to my transformation project, begin to study all kinds of materials, practice all kinds of excercises, work on tons of issues I have to improve on. After becoming a keyboard jockey, I decide to go away and work on my fundamentals
To this date- Having that stain in my past and the overwhelming fear that I won't make it in life, leads me to having an obsession to achieve not only standard results, but an extremely successful lifestyle. Because of all this lifetime of failure, My determination becomes solid as steel, and my faith indistructible. I set up another store, and it becomes somewhat successful. becoming addicted to my struggle, I decide that I have it too easy in jersey and decide to come to DC and make a fresh start.
thats a pretty undetailed version of my story, If I wrotte in details, I could writte entire books.
overall lessons/beliefs
Determination completely wipes out all logistics and unfavorable circumstances
excuses are for the weak.
anything is learnable, no matter what it is. anything can be overcomed(cept for death)
there are no shortcuts, or free passes for anything lasting and worthwhile.
You really can't fool anyone but your self, Integrity is lifes most respected virtue
life is like a huge store, you can have absolutely anything as long as you're willing to pay the price. I can go on forever. but This thread as all ready super long. This is 1 of the very 1st times I actually speak about this. reason is, this has been hunting me my whole life, and now iis my time for complete transparency and freedom. fuck judgements. I don't care anymore.
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